The award-winning drag queen dishes out life advice – with a side of sass
Words Marianna Manson
It’s a well-known fact that the Drag-osphere is comprised of three key elements: nouse, fucks-not- given, and hairspray. So who better than those paragons of good sense and emotional authenticity, London’s drag queens, to handle your modern trials and tribulations?
Here, PHOENIX’s resident Dragony Aunt, vegan Queen Felix le Freak – the radical performance artist and host of Queen of Hoxton’s riotous weekly event, Drag Bingo – takes up the proverbial hot seat to solve our readers’ most intimate issues. For tips on everything from how to shake up a workaholic lifestyle to the delicate matter of lack-lustre sex, Felix has you covered. Just don’t mention voluntourism.
To Felix
I’ve been with my better half for just over two years and though we get on great, have mutual friends and a varied social life, alone time with him just isn’t as fun – specifically between the sheets. We’ve tried communicating and trying new things, but is sexual compatibility something you can learn? Should I just end it?
Yours truly,
One Dissatisfied Customer
Firstly, if you’ve ever considered moonlighting as a drag king, Juan Dissatisfied-Customer would be a fantastic stage name – so don’t lose that. In answer to your question, two years is a long time to search for a spark, especially if the communication is as good as you say it is. Personally, I give up if there’s no chemistry after two minutes. Have you thought about screwing other people before committing to a definitive separation? It seems a shame to throw the baby out with the bathwater when you like this dweeb enough to put up with two years of bad bonking.
To Felix,
I’ve been thinking recently that I want to get into drag, and would love some advice. I’m not interesting in Drag King-ing though – I’m a woman and want to get stuck into the elaborate aesthetics and stage performance. I’m worried that I’ll come up against negativity, though, from people who think I’m undermining the art form. What do you think?
From
Eliza
Drag queenery is a parody of feminine aesthetics as viewed through the patriarchal gaze. There is not one shred of reason why women should not have an equal if not more prominent place at the table. If drag is about subverting gender norms then it fails the minute it excludes anyone based on their physiology or gender identity. And henny, if everybody worried this much about what people would think of their drag then nobody would be doing it. Stick two fingers up at the man and PRANCE, goddamnit!
Hi Felix,
I’ve just turned 30 and my life has taken a turn for the beige. My corporate job is desperately dull but I’m accustomed to the lifestyle its pay cheque allows me, and my friends are busy planning weddings and having kids. What can I do to shake things up?
Andy
Firstly, do not volunteer to build a school in a developing nation. The money it takes to fund one of those programmes could pay double the number of skilled, local workers to build ten schools and a Pret-a-Manger. Have you thought about running away with the circus? It’s making a big comeback for 2018. How are you with lions and/or heights?
Drag Bingo takes place every Wednesday at Queen of Hoxton and you can expect bawdy guests, cash prizes and existential despair in abundance.